


The Old Pile of Wires in the Cave

by Holy_Leonards_After_Dark (Holy_Leonards)



Category: Fallout 4
Genre: Breakup, Cautionary Tale, Cowboys, Crack, Don't have a sex addiction or else, Drugs, Incest, Jealousy, M/M, Not the ingame drug, Old Man in the Cave, Rebound, Roleplay, Twilight Zone - Freeform, Wire Play, special k
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-30
Updated: 2016-05-30
Packaged: 2018-07-11 03:03:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7024897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Holy_Leonards/pseuds/Holy_Leonards_After_Dark
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nate and Hancock seek out their old pal Nick Valentine after they discover that he is still alive in some cave in the Commonwealth.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Old Pile of Wires in the Cave

“This is awful!” Hancock groans. Nate's latest of many fuck buddies.

“Not doing so well since running out of Jet and Mentats?”

“I want to die.”

“What about regular drugs? You tried my drug of choice?”

“Alright, look, I tried to find some special k, but apparently no one does it anymore. It's cat tranquilizers, Nate. There's no more vets to rob.”

“It's gotta be somewhe-”

“Nobody does k!”

Nate glares at the motherfucking drug elitist. “Just as well, anyway. That self-destructive behavior won't lead to anything good.”

“Self-destru-what?”

“Addiction.”

“Pft! When has an addiction ever hurt anyone?”

“Let me tell you about about an old friend of mine.”

“Nate, I knew Nick too.”

“His name was Nick. Nick “big motherfucking dick” Valentine. He was a wire play addict. Now, he goes by...” Their surroundings start to warp and melt.

“Maybe I'm high after all.”

“He goes by The Old Man in the Cave!” Nate wraps a sober arm around Hancock. “Let me tell you about it.”

~~

“Who the Hell are you!?” Nick's voice echoes through the large room.

The room itself is cold and grimy. Nate can't picture a 19 year old girl wanting to live here. Even if she was a synth.

“I-” DiMA tries to explain.

“Here I am, thinking I'm the most handsome beat up toaster in town, then along comes this asshole.”

“Jesus, Nick. Why have you been so emotional lately?” Nate asks.

There's a pause.

“Because my balls are tighter and bluer than your vault suit. You haven't touched my hot dog in two months!”

Nate snorts. “The ingredients of hot dogs were pretty sketchy, but I doubt coolant and metal were involved in that recipe. You fucking toaster, I swear to God I'm going to throw you into the bathtub.”

The couple argued some more. Until finally...

“Fine! I'm leaving, Nick. I'm going to go see if Foghorn Leghorn wants to bump uglies!” Nate called. The sounds of his footsteps scraping towards the exit confirmed their breakup.

“Good luck!” Nick calls sarcastically. “You always come back an alcoholic after being with him! Together, you just get drunk!”

“That's the plan!” Nate yells back, slamming the door shut. The wind blows papers, which flutter before gently falling.

Nick looked back into DiMA's milky-looking eyes.

“Single now, huh?”

“Seems so.”

DiMA unravels his duct tape pants, revealing the extent of damage he'd taken over the years. Red, yellow, and white wires sag from his torso.

Nick chuckles. “Flashing me, now?” He approaches the other. “You into wire play?”

DiMA responds. Yes.

The clothed synth closes the gap between them. One hand rubbing DiMA's neck, the other fingering his interior.

“Oh!” DiMA gasps, leaning into the touch.

“Get on your hands and knees,” Nick says, replacing his fedora with a cowboy hat. “Dubya.”

“Are you done being a detective for now?”

“Howdy.”

“What should I call you then?”

“The Midnight Cowboy! Or! Long Dick Johnson.” Nick grabs a handful of wires, and yanks them as he slides his dick into DiMA's entrance.

“You do have a fucking long dick,” DiMA calmly states.

“Giddy up!” Nick spanks DiMA with the wires, as if they were reigns. Nick rodeos his handsomer self for a good half hour. The horsey just wouldn't cum. “Hows about you and I switch places, horsey. You can't seem to make it to town, if you know what I mean.”

“I've...never experienced this much wire pleasure! I may have to write a book about it.”

“I want you to saddle me, pilgrim.”

DiMA cautiously took Nick's “reigns”.

“Put a reign in my bunghole.”

DiMA tried to insert one of Nick's wires into his rear entrance, but some kind of robotic law prevented self wire play.

“Fine! God damn Institute! Put one of your reigns in!”

DiMA puts one of his various loose wires deep into the forgotten reaches of the previously synth detective and currently (lol get it? Current, like electricity?) synth cowboy, or synthboy.

As soon as the live wire makes contact with Nick's metal insides, he catches fire, melting his outer shell and reducing him to a pile of wires.

“Oh no! I killed him!”

[DiMA hated that.]

“Wait! He said his meat bag boyfriend would be back. I can't let him know I murdered his boyfriend.” The synth quickly looks around. “Faraday!”

A very sad and defeated looking Faraday crawls out from beneath a pile of moldy papers on the floor.

“Yes, dear?”

“Help me get rid of this body and wipe it from my memory like all of those other murders that I forgot about.”

Secretly, they put the secret remains of the secret detective into a secret cardboard box and secretly brought the remains back to the Commonwealth and dumped them in a cave.

Later, when Nate came back drunk, as Nick predicted, he discovered the location of Nick's remains from DiMA's abandoned memories that he had to find. That brings us to the story of The Old Man in the Cave.

~~

Hancock's eyes were wide. “Wait, so is Nick dead or not?”

A lanky, kinda handsome ugly guy approached them. He was in a suit.

“Who are you?”

“I'm Mr. Goldsmith, survivor, eyewitness to man's imperfection. I'm an observer of the very human trait of greed. I heard you two talking about the Old Man in the Cave. He's very helpful around here, you know.”

“Nick? Helpful?”

“He tells us when food is contaminated with radiation.”

“You – you guys want a Geiger counter? We'll trade for Nick.”

“Hot diggity dog! Deal, mister!”

Mr. Goldsmith snatched the geiger counter from Hancock's hands and it started going off.

“AH you two are irradiated! EEEAHHAAAAHAHAHAHA!”

Mr. Goldsmith ran back to his little settlement. Just as he went out of view, there were faint pops in the distance.

“Another bites the dust, eh, Nate?”

“Poor guy.”

They continued on up to the cave where the Old Man lived. The door was sealed and could only be opened with a password.

“Dammit! Locked out and I don't even have drugs to make me feel better about it.”

“Hancock, I know the password. It's 'DiMAandFarady4ever”.”

Nate punched it in and the door swung open. There was a strong smell of mold coming from deep within the rectangular room.

“This was not a natural formation?”

“Nope, old corpse hiding room back from before the war. Criminals built these all over to hide their favorite politicians.”

They stepped inside. There was nothing but a very moist cardboard box with a speaker sticking out of it.

“Nick? It's me, Nate.”

There was a sound from the speaker.

“Wirres...”

“No, Nick, no more play.”

“Wires...mold...radiation...dildos...”

They looked confused.

“He ain't like I remember him, Nate.”

“The wire play really changed him. I wonder what he meant by dildo.”

The box disintegrated revealing the mass of wires inside. At the center of the coil was a vibrator that was rattling like a rattlesnake's tail.

“Nick, what are you planning on doing with that?”

“Cave...mine...”

The speaker lunged at Nate and the wires stretched out to full length. He slithered out the door and disappeared into the wasteland.

“What the hell? I swear to god I'm on K.”

“You're not because I saw that too. Did you see the venom dripping from the speakers?”

“He is one bad dude.”

“Now we don't know where he is or what he plans on doing.”

The horror that the two fuck buddies released has continued to terrorize the wasteland to this day. Every now and then there is a new sighting, but nobody ever gets close enough to take out what keeps him going, that rattle of a dildo. It is the last thing you hear before you meet a venomy end.

 


End file.
